Last update before posting this:
I wrote to Robert, the man I’m talking about in this post. Robert not only gave his permission to include a link to his web page. He asked me to call him Rob, rather than ‘this man’ (the term I was using in order not to identify him). Rob would like for you to read (and watch) his blog (he posts videos). Rob’s blog is The Architect’s Garage.
Note:
I wrote this post a few weeks ago after submitting comments to this man’s Rob’s blog. My comments are below. He did publish my comments to his blog, and he replied with very thoughtful comments of his own. I replied again (to his comments). I do not understand his perspective. It looks like denial to me.
He believes he is honoring God by denying himself (by saying he is a married, straight man who is attracted to men). We disagree on that point (that being with one person while obsessing about others is honoring anyone). We have discussed it in email and comments.
It’s his life, and he is living it as he chooses. The only reason this conversation began was because he used Ray Boltz as an example of a gay many who is doing the wrong thing (living as an openly gay man rather than staying married to a woman after he accepted that he is a gay man).
I happen to believe that Ray Boltz has honored God with his love for his family and his honesty with himself, his family and everyone who has read the article about his coming out in The Washington Blade.
We’ve Had This Conversation Before
He wants to believe he’s not really gay, just that he “struggles with same sex attractions.” I say, “Straight men don’t feel that way for other men. They feel that way for women.”
It’s About Community
He wants to believe he simply desires the company of other men, because that’s what is good for men. I say, “It’s true that men enjoy the company of other men, but the straight men are not emotionally and sexually attracted to other men the way you are.”
He Criticized Ray Boltz for Living an Open and Honest Life
That’s when I knew it was time to speak up again. “If you want to live a lie, and try to make yourself believe you are a straight man who ’struggles with same sex attractions’, so be it. If you want to deny your poor wife the opportunity to meet, fall in love with, and marry a man who can actually feel for her the way you feel for other men, so be it. If you want to pretend you are a straight man just hanging out with the guys, when you are really dying inside and their company is all that keeps you alive, so be it. But, why try to defend your self-deception by talking badly about a man who is living an honest life?”
What Did I Really Say?
I said basically the same thing I’ve said above. But, it was longer, and I submitted it as a comment to his blog. I do not know if he will post it. He wants to believe he is doing the right thing by talking constantly about his “struggle with same sex attraction” while thinking about men all the time and staying married to a woman. I believe that is so wrong, and so unfair to the one who loves him. (What I wrote to him is after the fold … ) Continue Reading »
So, I wrote one in response to one that was already posted:
