Deb’s House Concerts …………

Deb’s House Concerts

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Dear Rep. Kern,

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One of the categories I use for posts about issues related to gay, lesbian, bisexual and transexual issues is “Health”. Rep. Kern, in your public words against gay people, you said “the homosexual lifestyle” is unhealthy. That’s one of those talking points the anti-gay groups like to use. You used it as if it were truth. I’d like to ask you to consider what the truth really is.

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I agree that kids and young adults who are constantly made to feel ‘less than’ in their families, schools, churches and in society may very well be at a higher risk for health issues such as depression, suicide, substance abuse and risky sexual behaviors. That applies to straight kids as well as gay kids. Fortunately for straight kids, the lifelong pressures they experience are for them to conform to a sexual identity norm that matches who they are inside. Unfortunately for gay kids, the outside message from birth does not match what is inside. It is especially difficult when the voices heard are ones that call names at school and church and in the public media.

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I agree that some gay people experience depression, but it is not from being gay. Where I differ from you Rep. Kern (and those who share your anti-gay mindset) is in the reason attached to those health issues. You want everyone to believe that lgbt people are depressed and suicidal and unhealthy because of being gay. I say, NO. You have it all backwards. Gay people (glbt) who are depressed or suicidal are not that way because they are gay. They are that way because they have spent their entire lives being marginalized, made to feel shame, being made the butt of jokes, being bullied or discriminated against, being told they are “wicked, evil, perverts, an abomination to God” and being made to hide who they are because of attitudes like yours.

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It should be no surprise that people who are made to feel ashamed at home, church, school and in society at large by being spoken against for an entire lifetime might experience depression. Many gay people live in hiding (live quiet lives with a partner rather than living as openly gay) because of people like you. This is sad, but it is a reality for many, because it is difficult to go through life without support for something as basic as who one is and who one loves.

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It should not be difficult for anyone, even you (plural) who speak out against “the homosexual lifestyle” to realize that your words hurt people. You hurt good and loving people. You hurt kids who already know they are ‘different’, and know they are unacceptable to you and people who think like you. You (always plural) cause harm to thousands (not to mention those who you know and love) by your refusal to accept people who have every bit as much right to live and love as you do.

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Instead of spending tax-payer money (or church member money) on working to cause further hurt to people who have been marginalize for a lifetime, why not spend your efforts making it possible for gay couples to live openly as partners, even to be open and legally committed to each other? Why waste everyone’s time and money trying to demonize people who want only to live in peace and have the same basic rights you have?

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Instead of saying “the gay lifestyle” is unhealthy, why not work to make this world safe for gay people (and thereby reduce the incredible stress that comes with having to hide from people with attitudes like yours)? Why not work to assure that everyone has the same basic rights? We are all guaranteed the same basic equal rights by the Constitution, are we not? What makes you more valuable as a human being than another person? Why do you work so hard to keep others in a ‘less than’ status? Would you want to be kept out of your beloved spouse’s hospital room? Would you want the law to take away the shared property you have built together for years and give it to distant relatives? Would you want someone other than your spouse to make decisions about your health care and your end of life wishes? People who can marry have those rights automatically. Gay people must go to great lengths to set up legal documents to protect them from these scenarios.

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Gay people are not the villains you describe. To the contrary, you have set yourself against thousands of good, hard-working, law-abiding, committed individuals who must struggle daily against attitudes like yours (and, the laws that result from those attitudes).

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Rep. Kern (and all those who think and speak like Rep. Kern), why not step back for a moment from this misguided agenda that you push? How about just stopping for a moment and focusing on the words of the One you claim to follow. Jesus never said a negative word about same-sex relationships. But, he certainly said a lot about other things. He said a lot about love. He said a lot about how we should treat each other.

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If you (all who make it your business to say anti-gay things at every opportunity) are really concerned about the health and lives and welfare of gay people, how about following the real teachings of Jesus (not the fund-raising scare tactics anti-gay groups use to line their own pockets and pay their own salaries)? Speaking out against gay people is a big money-maker, because it’s a great way to appeal to ignorance and fear. But, it is not loving. It is not Christian. It is not following the teachings of Christ (as most of the anti-gay groups claim to be doing).

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If you (all of you who make gay people into godless villains) really love gay people (as you claim to) ,and if you are really concerned about the welfare of gay people, and if you really want gay people to be healthy and happy, how about practicing the teachings of the One you claim to follow? You want the health of gay people to improve? How about helping that happen by working to recognize the lives and loves of same-sex couples in a positive way? How about looking around you and seeing that there are not many open and out gay families (although there are more and more) because of the life-long message that gay people are not fully welcomed in this world? Wouldn’t you have some struggles with depression if you were spoken against and lied about daily by people who don’t even know you?

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I wrote to you a few days ago. I know you are swamped with email, so I did not send you my letter. I only posted it here. But, I want to ask you again to consider the harm that you do with your words. I will say again, I am certain that every family (if not nuclear, then extended) has at least one member who does not fit your definition of acceptable (by virtue of being gay), and every person knows at least one person (most likely many more) who is gay (glbt, lgbt). I want to appeal to you again, you and all who think like you, to stop for a moment. Let all that anti-gay noise in your head stop long enough to consider the One you claim to follow, the One you claim to represent with your anti-gay attitudes and words. What Would Jesus Do? There is no question in my mind that Jesus would not say the things you say, and Jesus would not work to pass legislation to guarantee discrimination.

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Rep. Kern, there are resources you can use to learn more about what is true about gay people. The sources you have quoted as your source of truth are not truth at all. I visited some of those sites. I listened to your radio interview. You have surrounded yourself with lies and misinformation. And, you are spreading lies and misinformation. As I said in my previous letter to you, I would like to think you would DO better if you KNEW better. This may not be true. I may be hoping you are a better person than you are. But, I want to believe that if you knew the truth about who gay people are, not just the lies spouted by the anti-gay groups you quote, you’d know better and do better.

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Here are a few links, just a few to get you started. Please visit these sites and learn more about the people you speak against before you speak again.

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Parents and the Ex-Gay Movement

Soulforce

PFLAG

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