How Does Your Church Treat Queers? (Peterson Toscano Wants to Know)

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Peterson Toscano

Peterson Toscano is a good guy. He went through a lot of bad things, and he’s come back out on the other side with good humor and information for all of us.

Traveling Around the World

Peterson travels around the world. He’s a performer and an educator. He tells people about his experiences in the ‘ex-gay’ world.

Advocating for Gay Christians

Peterson Toscano is an advocate for lgbt Christians. Look at this exchange:

ME: Cool stuff you offer here. I know of some young people who would be interested in your ministry. They are sincere Christians, who would both give a lot to and receive a lot from the programming that you offer. They happen to be transgender, bisexual, lesbian or gay. How well would they fare in your organization?

RESOURCE: We welcome all people.

ME: Yes, I understand that, but if they came to you with say questions about their faith or maybe an eating disorder or simply becuase they want to be stronger believers, would they get the help they need without their sexuality becoming THE issue that you insist needs to be addressed.

RESOURCE: We don’t really deal with sexuality. It doesn’t come up.

ME: Wait, you run an organization for youth and you don’t ever talk about sex?!? Seems like a pretty important issue. Okay, so they will not be told they have to change their sexuality in order to be part of the group?

RESOURCE: Well, we do believe in the Bible…

ME: Yeah, so do I and so do these young people. The Bible doesn’t condemn a loving relationship between two men or two women. The Bible doesn’t condemn a gay, lesbian or bisexual orientation. The Bible actually affirms the lives and contributions of gender-variant people.

RESOURCE: We don’t see it that way, but they would still be welcome.

ME: Welcome to recive your services, to give contributions, to fill the seats?

RESOURCE: Yeah, they will be very welcome.

ME: Okay, I want to make sure we are clear here. A young person comes to your ministry. They have peace and clarity about their sexuality. They attend your training courses, meet many new friends, grow in their faith, contribute more and more time and resources to the work you do. After they devote two years of their lives to your ministry, they decide they want to give even more, to take on a leadership role, to lead a course. As an openly transgender, bisexual, lesbian, gay, queer person, you are telling me that they will be able to serve in a leadership position in your ministry?

RESOURCE: Well, no, but then an adulterer or rapist wouldn’t be able to either.

ME: I find it offensive that you equate the lives of these transgender, bisexual, lesbian, gay, queer people to adultery and rape. These are young people committed to God, living thoughtful responsible lives with peace in their hearts. They are not cheating on their partners and they are not rapists. Some are single and waiting for a partner. They choose to be honest with themselves and others about their sexuality. Would they be able to serve in your ministry?

RESOURCE: Um, no.

ME: So I should tell them that yours is not a safe place for them.
Perhaps you should let people know up front that you accept them under certain often unspoken conditions and that the same conditions do not apply to transgender, bisexual, lesbian, gay and queer folks as to straight, gender-normative fellow believers.

Spend An Hour With Peterson Toscano

Read his posts. Watch his videos. Click links on the sidebar and find more good reading.

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My Response to Carol Boltz

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[UPDATE: Visit Carol's blog My heart goes out...]

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I Wrote About Carol Boltz

On June 17, 2009, I put up a post about Carol Boltz and her interview on the online radio show on the Gay Christian Network. In that interview, Carol talked about her life before, during and after the time when her (ex-) husband, Christian singer Ray Boltz, came out as gay.

A Woman Anyone Would Want to Call a Friend

I think of Carol Boltz as a friend. I believe good, good things about her. So, I was disappointed, but not surprised, to find that a message board run by students from a fundamentalist Christian college had a post that quoted my entire post with the partial transcript of Carol’s interview.

No Quotation Marks to Identify Her Words

The person who copied my entire post failed to use quotations to attribute Carol’s words to her. That led some readers to believe the transcript of parts of her radio interview was actually something she had written. That was misleading. But, at least they included a link to my post. So, at least readers could come here and see what she said, and know they were reading a partial transcript of a radio interview, and then visit Carol’s blog to see what she had to say about her experience of being on the radio show.

Negative Comments About Carol and Ray

After the post, there were comments about Carol and Ray. They were mostly along the line that says, “She just talked about what she thinks and how she feels, but it’s really about what God’s Word says.”

Who Were These Commenters? I Wondered

I wondered who these people were, writing comments on a password-protected bulletin board, saying disparaging things about someone I think of as a friend. So, I did what you’d probably do. I googled them. And, I learned that they call themselves, “an online community for gen-x Christians with connections to …”. Then, I googled the core part of their name, and learned that they are from a “fundamental college.”

That Answered My Questions. Fundamentalism.

There are many people who have grown up in fundamentalist Christian churches. Their teachings about Christianity do not include homosexuality. The people who are posting on the message board seem to be of that belief. They believe that homosexuality is not a sexual orientation, part of who a person is, rather that it is an action or a behavior, a choice and a sin. (I first learned about that bit of fundamentalist theology from Marc Adams when he explained to me the fundamentalist view of homosexuality.)

I Read the Rules for the Bulletin Board

The rules for posting include this:

Discussion of certain topics which destroy that environment are forbidden. The following topics are strictly off-limits:

ADVOCACY OR DEFENSE OF HOMOSEXUALITY

Other bulletin boards concerning PCC have in the past been invaded by persons with an agenda of pushing for the acceptance of homosexuality. Those discussions drove away the existing majority of Christians on those boards, and therefore will NOT be tolerated here. PERIOD. You are free to disagree, but not on this board.

Clearly, it is acceptable to speak badly, on that bulletin board, of people who are open and honest about their sexuality. But, it is forbidden to say anything positive or supportive of people who are open and honest about their sexuality if it happens not to be heterosexuality.

Recognition, Realization, Acceptance, Openness

Those who hold to the fundamentalist theology believe that Carol and Ray Boltz are way off the path. I believe differently. The fundamentalist view is that there is no such thing as homosexuality, there is only “the sin of homosexuality.” (Adams) They refer to ex-gay groups as a way to ‘escape’ homosexuality. But, there is no escaping who you are by denying it. There is life beyond ex-gay, rising up whole (Bakke) and living an honest, creative life as the person God created (Toscano).

(I read more of the rules and discovered that the board is not from a fundamentalist school, but from an evangelical school. “Since we are evangelical Christians, our community standards are pretty strict, so if you’re in doubt, either ask or just don’t post it.” Apparently that school believes the same as the fundamentalists about homosexuality.)

Carol and Ray Boltz Still Walk With God

From what I have seen, Carol and Ray Boltz are on the path and walking with God. What they are not doing is picking up stones from that path to hurl at others. They are walking honestly and openly. Regardless of what others say about their faith and their lives, they are still on the path. They are still walking with God.

My Comment After I Read Those Comments

I wrote a comment to Carol after I read those words by people who believe Ray and Carol cannot possibly be Christians and gay/gay-supporting. Here’s what I said:

Thank you for your openness about your life.

I know there are many who are taking your honesty, and Ray’s, as an opportunity to attack you and Ray (in the name of God, of course). There are people who have chosen to reject you and Ray, because of his coming out, and because of your support for him and all lgbt persons. They are misinformed.

I know you to be an open, honest, loving, giving, devoted Christian woman. If those who speak badly of you and Ray were to look at your history, they would see that your history and your present life give you credibility.

The one good thing I see about people criticizing you and Ray, by name, is that those who need the truth that is in your personal story will be able to find you because of those who have named you and criticized you.

For anyone who has heard of Ray Boltz or Carol Boltz, and anyone who is married and gay or married to a spouse who is gay, you are not alone. Carol has opened her heart to the world, and you can find support, encouragement, comfort and hope in the pages of her personal web page My Heart Goes Out.

Thank you, Carol, for the light you shine in this world.

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A Shout Out to the Overnight Readers in Knoxville, TN (and, everywhere else you are)

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I See You Reading In The Night

Not really! But, I know you’re there.

Thanks For Reading

I’d love to hear from you. Leave comments!

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Wanda Sykes on Gay Marriage

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NSFW

Seriously. But, you already knew that Wanda Sykes’ humor is not something you can play aloud at work. Right?

Now That We’ve Got That Out Of The Way

You can see her in concert, about four minutes anyway, here.

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Thanks!

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Happy Father’s Day

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Lesbian couples’ children have lower rates of mental illness

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That’s What I Heard

“Lesbian couples’ children have lower rates of mental illness”
Many arguments against civil unions and same-sex marriage focus on the supposed debilitating effects on children with parents of the same gender. However, these arguments are supported by little credible research.

Check it out

Lesbian couples’ children have lower rates of mental illness

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“That’s So Gay!” – Think Before You Speak

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That’s So Gay!

Do you say that? Why? It’s not very nice.

Wanda Sykes Has Something To Say

Think Before You Speak – Pizza Shop

Think Before You Speak

Think Before You Speak – Cashier

That’s So Gay PSA

Hilary Duff – Think Before You Speak (“That’s So Gay”) Official (HQ)

The Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN)

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Gay Hollywood Is Upset About Bruno

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Discontent in Gay Hollywood

I just read today that there is discontent in ‘gay Hollywood’ over Bruno. I knew it played to stereotypes, but I did not know to what degree.

Stereotypes About Gay Men

I know that I could see the movie and not make assumptions about all gay men. I realized, after the information today, that it is possible that not all viewers will be that way.

How Will You See It?

I hope that those who see this movie will see it as an over-the-top set of gags based on stereotypes and not as an accurate portrayal of gay people. That seems obvious to me, but I guess for people who don’t actually know (that they know) anyone who is gay, it could be problematic.

Do You Know (that you know) Anyone Who Is Gay?

I guess it all comes back to gay people living as openly as circumstances will allow. (There are people for whom coming out would not be safe or wise given their surroundings.)

You Know (and probably love) Someone Who Is Gay

I do believe that the more people realize that everyone knows (and, probably loves) someone who is gay, there will be more and more acceptance and eventually equal rights for all.

Is Bruno Queerface?

That’s the question asked in these videos. Is Bruno too extreme in its stereotypes? Is it ‘Queerface’ (a new word for the English language, similar to Blackface).

Bruno = Queerface ?? #1

Bruno = Queerface ?? #2

Maybe I Was Wrong

I expected it to be funny, in the way that over-the-top Southern movies are funny. But, I understand that it’s all a matter of perception. I know that over-the-top Southern movies play on stereotypes, but they are not an accurate portrayal of everyday life in the South. People who did not grow up here might not experience the humor from the same perspective.

Laughing With or Laughing At?

Some of the people in the videos expressed a concern about whether the audience will be laughing with gay people or at gay people.  Now that my attention has been drawn to this point, I can see this concern.

Will Bruno Mean a Slide Backwards for Equality?

That’s another concern that was voiced in the Queerface videos. Is the stereotyping used in the movie simply funny, or will it reinforce prejudices against gay people?

What do you think?

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UPDATE: July 14, 2009 More about Bruno:

Brüno, Marvin and Me

Bruno Iz Hot Or Not?// <![CDATA[//

// <![CDATA[//

Barbara Walters Reviews ‘Bruno’: ‘Pornographic’ With ‘Close Ups Of Penises’ (VIDEO)

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Carol Boltz Interview on GCN (talking about her life before, during and after her former husband came out as gay)

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[UPDATE: Visit Carol's blog My heart goes out...]

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Carol Boltz is Articulate and Speaks from the Heart

Carol Boltz is a wonderful, loving, honest woman. She lived as the spouse of a very public husband for three decades. Now, she lives as his very public ex-wife.  They decided to divorce after he came out as gay.

A few weeks ago, Carol was interviewed by the internet radio program Gay Christian Network. She also has a web page where she talks about her experiences and her life now, My Heart Goes Out.

Here is some of the interview:

Then, I realized in a moment that he wasn’t kidding. None of us knew what to do. We cried and we hugged …

I still thought that you couldn’t be gay and Christian. I thought there would be a solution. I thought we could fix it…

I was in collapse. I had no way of dealing with this. At first, I thought there was a solution. I thought that there could be a fix…What did the future hold? “What do you mean you’re gay?” The thing that sticks with me from that day: It’s not what you do. It’s who you are…

I had all kinds of fears. I was just crying all the time, and no one to really help with that. Ray, we cried together a lot.

I began to realize that there was a difference between how you  lived your life, that someone could be Christian or non-Christian, someone could be gay or straight, someone could live with integrity or not live with integrity. But it was not true, what I’d been told in every church I had ever been in, that there was a gay lifestyle, that gay people had uncontrolled, crazy sex lives, that they were identifiable by what they looked like, that they had an agenda, that the activists were out to destroy Christianity. All those things I had heard specifically in church.

The contradictions in my mind were indescribable. And so, as I was learning these things intellectually, I was going through the emotional trauma that if I accepted this, that if I understood this the way other people were expressing it, then, there was no hope, that Ray was telling me the truth, that it’s not what you do, it’s who you are, and that he was gay, and he was not going to change. He was saying, “I can’t pretend…”

I couldn’t live with not believing him… There were a lot of things I had to reconcile … my emotions … how much I loved Ray … what I’d been told in church … what  my future would look like … tremendous, tremendous challenges …

I began to meet people, anonymously, first online. I found a wonderful blog written by Peterson Toscano, I began to read Peterson every single day… Once in awhile, I began to post anonymously … I had to get connected with people with information that I had never had before… I was afraid to really let people know who I was. We were still very closeted, still trying to figure out what to do with the business, with the ministry …

I eventually met Peterson in person … I got connected with Soulforce. I found GCN. I read so much on their message boards. All these things were helping me. I realized that there are people out there who are gay and Christian that live lives with their families or individually, with partners or without partners. I began to have glimpses of something outside the churches that I had heard these untruths from. It began to build me up…

Ray always said, it was fine … we could tell whoever we needed to tell. “This is not just my story.” It was our family, and we were close… They tried to find out information for themselves, and we would talk about it … really close.They’re all still close with their dad. There was never a rift. Nobody ever fought, or left angry…  All the kids have realized that mom and dad are doing okay. It was hard for them … There were adjustments on the part of all of us…

When I read The Other Side of the Closet … when one spouse (the gay spouse) comes out of the closet, the other spouse (the straight spouse) goes into the closet … several options … good reasons to stay together. However, in our situation, and considering that Ray had done his best to live straight for 30 years before coming out, I knew that he could not continue to pretend to be straight and survive … He didn’t feel, and I didn’t feel, that it would be right to let people assume that he was straight…

In the beginning I didn’t want to separate … counselor asked me if I had known before we were married, would I have wanted to marry a gay man, and my honest answer was no. Is it a breaking of the vows? The answer is yes… Both members of a marriage have an obligation to each other … financial … children … when to separate? There is no good answer.

My hope is that younger people will have the hope of a family of their own, younger gay people will have a hope of a family, so that they can spend their lives together. If I hope that for my gay friends, I hope it for me…

I realized about a month ago that I have made so many friends, friends that I now know are gay, that walk their own faith journey. I realized I would never have met them … neither of us could have been as real and honest and respectful. I would have had in the back of my mind that they were somehow not really Christian. And, instead, I recognize their faith and their walk, and how endeared they are to the Lord, the suffering that some people go through by rejection of their families. I would never have known them, and had them as my friends, if all this had not happened to me. I can see so much  more how God can work through these troubles…

I think  that the change that happened in me was understanding  better … I don’t think we need to overlay our expectations on the Bible. We need to receive from God that Jesus is for all people. And, that he wants us to walk in love and forgiveness and temperance in all things … fruits of the Spirit. .. Jesus came to the woman at the well, and He told her about her life … We need to worship in Spirit and in Truth …I don’t think there’s a difference in people. Don’t stereotype people. In the past, I made assumptions about people and about their lives … I think we need to look at people more transparently.

In a practical way, I think that young people need to know that if they’re gay, they’re alright. There’s nothing freakish about them. There’s nothing unlovable about them. They need to develop normal relationships and have outlets for dating. I heard someone (say)… “What if we had open dating allowed in church, so that people could develop relationships with integrity… do the things that we expect for youth… have gay-straight alliances in church for young people.”  I think that’s a fantastic idea. Because the hope of family lives in all of us. Gay people need to know they can live in community at church, and family at home, and be respected and included in the church. That would be my ideal.

Resources Carol Recommends:

• “Can my gay child change?” – article by Peterson Toscano
• “What the Bible says – and doesn’t say – about homosexuality” download available through Soulforce
• Amity Pierce Buxton, “The other side of the closet.”
• Carol Lynn Pearson, “Goodbye, I love you.”
• http://petersontoscano.wordpress.com/
• http://www.beyondexgay.com/
• http://www.forthebibletellsmeso.org/indexb.htm
• http://www.gaychristian.net/
• http://www.rmnetwork.org/
• http://www.teach-ministries.org/
• Jeff Miner, “The children are free – reexamining the Biblical evidence for same-sex relationships”
• Mel White, “Stranger at the Gate.”
• MILK – the movie
• Prayers for Bobby – Lifetime movie starring Sigourney Weaver
• www.soulforce.org

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Typos to Lighten Your Day

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Church Bulletin Typos

From the email in-box.

I’ve read these all before, but they’re still funny. A friend read them to me over the phone, and I laughed at them all again.

Did they really print these?

I think they probably did. Remember the Tonight Show? Johnny Carson, and later Jay Leno, had a regular part of the show with typos from the newspaper.

Set down your coffee cup, and swallow before reading.

You wouldn’t want to have to buy a  new keyboard, would you?

Church Bulletin Typos and Church Service Announcments

The Fasting and Prayer Conference includes meals.

The sermon this morning: “Jesus Walks on the Water.” The sermon tonight: “Searching for Jesus.”

Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.

Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say “Hell” to someone who doesn’t care much about you.

Don’t let worry kill you off–let the Church help.

Miss Charlene Mason sang “I will not pass this way again,” giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing “Break Forth Into Joy.”

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be What Is Hell? Come early and listen to our choir practice.

Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment, and gracious hostility.

Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM–prayer and medication to follow.

The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.

The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: I Upped My Pledge–Up Yours.

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Fry A Pound of Bacon, Put It in the Freezer, Save It for a Rainy Day

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Delicious + Bad for You = Yummy, Crispy Bacon

There are a lot of yummy foods I try to stay away from. Bacon is one of them!

So Good!

OMG, it’s so good.

From Fat …

It’s obviously not a top food choice for heart health. It’s probably 100% fat, solid fat, fat that is not liquid at room temperature. (Olive oil is liquid at room temperature and is said to be healthier than animal fat. I believe this.)

To Crispy, Melt-In-Your-Mouth …

The only way I like bacon is when it has been cooked to the point where it is crispy. I don’t like soggy, non-crispy bacon. I don’t like the texture. I don’t like burned bacon. As with other burned foods, I don’t like the taste.

Crispy, melt-in-your-mouth bacon is soooo good. Yummm!

To Fat

Unfortunately, since bacon is just about 100% fat (like mayonaise is 100% fat and butter is 100% fat), it has limited nutritional value. The nutrition pyramids have a tiny point at the top. Fats are  in the tiny point at the top of the pyramid.

Where Does Bacon Go After I Eat It?

Well, in my case, I think it goes to my hips and my belly. And, I’m pretty sure it also goes to my coronary arteries and other vessels in my body. I’m sure I don’t have a direct deposit of bacon grease in my coronary arteries, but fat that can’t get out of the body fast enough stays in ways that will eventually not make us happy.

Now You Want to Cook a Pound of Bacon?

I cooked a pound of bacon yesterday. It had been in my refrigerator for a long time. I was concerned that it might go bad. Maybe it’s better to cook just one strip of bacon at a time, and use it one strip at a time, as needed.  But, I cooked a pound of bacon with the idea that I’d do it, get it over with, and freeze it to use later.

Deep Fried Bacon

This method uses the stove top, an iron skillet and a lid (to contain the popping grease). I started by putting the skillet on high just long enough to heat it, probably less than one minute. Then, I turned it down to the lowest setting.

I opened the entire package of bacon, and made 4 or 5 cuts across the rows of bacon. This turned the long strips of bacon into small squares. Then, I peeled off the 2″x2″ pieces of bacon and laid them in the pan. When those pieces began to bubble up (soon), I slid them to the side (with a metal spatula or fork) and put down another round of little bacon squares.

As the bacon cooked, the bacon grease increased in the pan. As the bacon on the edges began to look crispy, I took it out and put it on a paper towel. Since it was on low heat, it was easy to take out the crispy pieces as they were done.

By the end of the process, there was so much grease in the pan that the last few rounds of bacon squares were being placed in grease. Cooking grease in grease. (I suppose you could turn on your deep fryer and cook bacon in grease!!! The only difference here was that the grease came from the bacon.)

Microwaved Bacon Strips

This method is easier, quicker, less messy and it removes more of the bacon grease. The iron skillet method is tastier, but this one is good, too. It’s just not as totally yummy, because even more of the grease has been removed. I guess we’re programmed that way: fat=yummy!

Here’s what you do: on a paper towel, lay out strips of bacon side by side. Put another paper towel on top. Roll it into a ‘tube’ (just fold one piece of bacon over the other, but with paper towel in between). Then, fold the rolled bacon-towel in half.

In a microwave safe dish, place two or three crumpled paper towels. On top of that, place the rolled and folded bacon-towels with the open ends down against the crumpled paper towels.

Cook for 3 minutes. Check it. Cook another three if needed. This part is up to you, and depends on how many strips of bacon you’re cooking and how hot your microwave is.

With this method, most of the grease goes into the paper towels, and there is not as much mess to clean up.  There seems to be less grease in the cooked bacon, too. It comes out flatter and thinner, but crispy.  It has the yummy bacon flavor, but without the extra punch from the crispy cooked fat from the iron skillet method.

Freeze It Before You Can Eat It!

Crispy bacon is so good, I guess it’s only knowledge of our impending deaths that keeps us from eating a pound of crispy bacon every day!

Four Glasses and One Bowl of Prevention Are Better Than a Pound of Cure(d Bacon)

If you want to be sure you’re not tempted to munch your way through a pound of bacon as it comes out of the pan, I have a suggestion. Drink about four glasses of water before you start cooking. Also, before you begin cooking, eat a bowl of oatmeal.

Why Water and Oatmeal?

Why do I say to drink water and eat oatmeal? Here is my thought process.

First, if you drink water and eat oatmeal first, you’ll be full, so you’ll not be as tempted to eat the bacon. (This is similar to eating before going grocery shopping to avoid impulse purchases.)

Second, and this is a recovery plan, if you drink water and eat oatmeal, and you still chow down on the bacon, you’ll already have a high fiber food and lots of water in your digestive tract to act as a bouncer. “Excuse me sir, you can’t go over there. The blood stream and liver don’t want you to stick around. Come with me. Right this way, sir.  That’s right. It’s out the door for you.”

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The Last of the Frog Photos (retrospective)

Deb’s House Concerts

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Before I Remembered How to Take Close-Up Photos

I used to know how, and I have some beautiful photos. But, I’d not done it for so long, I forgot there was a close up setting. So, I kept trying to photograph these little frogs from a distance, trying to get them in focus.

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Homemade Chocolate Chip Ice Cream and Songs About Ducks, Geese, Donkeys and Teddy Bears

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Back to First Grade

I went back again today! It’s the end of the year. The scheduled activities are winding down. The kids love my songs (and sing along on most of them).  And, the teacher keeps asking if I can come back again before the end of school. So, I went back to first grade again today!

First Grade Is Fun

Yes, it was fun. It’s fun every time.

Homemade Chocolate Chip Ice Cream

Today I went to my school and took a test. Then, I went to my nephew’s school and took homemade ice cream (made after my school and before his school). This batch was made with the basic recipe and sliced Ghirardelli dark chocolate chips.

Only a Taste, but What at Taste It Was!

I only had enough ice cream for a few bites each. The ice cream maker only makes 1.5 quarts and there were 22 people to serve. There was actually a little left over, but that was only because I was very conservative in my servings, because I wanted to be sure everyone got some.

Yummy!

It was yummy! The kids liked it a lot! They talked about how good it was.There were many comments about how good it was and many “Thank You”s.

First-Grade-Made Ice Cream Tomorrow (Instructions)

The teacher said they can make their own ice cream tomorrow. She has a great recipe. Milk and cream and sugar in a baggie. Put that baggie in a bigger baggie filled with ice and salt. Wear gloves to protect your hands from the cold. Turn and flip and jiggle the bag. Pass it back and forth with a friend. When it’s ready, dig in! Yumm!

Music Follows “Mmm”, Songs Follow Sweet Desserts

After they finished their ice cream and called out their, “Thank You”s, the children moved to the front of the classroom where they sit to listen to stories and songs. Some of the children stayed at their desks, since they prefer that vantage point. (I would probably be a desk kid. I wonder if there is an introvert vs extravert correspondence to desk-sitters vs floor-sitters.)

Sang Almost All of  the Songs

We had more time than usual today, so I started at the beginning, and I proceeded to sing my way through the Weird Duck collection of songs. I was almost able to sing every song in the book (thirteen songs). They wanted to be sure they’d heard all the songs. (I sang a little of every song they’d not yet heard when I was there the other day.) They even asked, “Are there any songs you haven’t sung for us?”

Stories Behind the Songs

I told them my inspiration for a few of the songs. I told them why I wrote them and exactly what I was thinking when I wrote certain lines. I talked about how we get comfortable, and we don’t want change (“Mama Duck’s pond is in this pot, and this is where she’ll stay.”), but change is usually okay (“By Mama Duck’s misfortune, now your life can be changed.”) And, I talked about how we are all more alike than we are different. “We’re all a part of all of life. We’re all a part of love.”

They Asked, “What was … about?”

That prompted them to ask about stories I’d not explained. “Why did you write Snow Goose?” I told them I’d never even known there was such a creature as a Snow Goose. Then, I learned of a shop that used that image and name, and I wanted to write a fairy tale about a snow goose. (The teacher found a picture of a snow goose and showed it to the class.)

Let the Story Lead You Where It Wants to Go

I told them I was surprised by where the story took me. I thought it would be a happy story all the way through, but at the end it was suddenly sad when she left. I told them they can write that way, too, just start writing and see where the story goes.

I Love Singing For Young Children

What a wonderful audience they are! They’re so wonderful. They’re enthusiastic. They’re attentive. They’re appreciative. They’re interested. They sing along. They clap and tap and drum and sway. They act out the words.

Adults Are Like Me? What A Surprise (ha!)

Adults can sometimes be too much like I am, just sitting quietly in the audience, hesitant to do anything.  Children still have the spark that the rest of us have to remember to keep alive. I really enjoy the energy that’s in a crowd of happy, singing children.

I Had Hoped to Give Each Child A “Weird Duck” CD

I know I still have some (from when they were made in 2003). But, I can’t find them. I thought I might just burn a copy for each child, but that’s a long process, and I’ve not found a block of time suitable for accomplishing that task. I’m still hoping to find a way to do that before the end of their last school day for this year, their last day of first grade (this Friday!).

A Path I Want to Keep Traveling

I’ve had a great time singing for these children, and having them enjoy my songs and sing them with me. It’s a thrill to have them ask for certain songs and remember the words. I know it was a good experience for them, too, and they’ll remember it for years to come. I need to find a way to make singing for children a regular part of my life.

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This post was written late night June 10, 2009.

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Homemade Ice Cream Posts:

Homemade Chocolate Chip Ice Cream and Songs About Ducks, Geese, Donkeys and Teddy Bears

Homemade Vanilla Ice Cream Recipe – No Eggs – No Cooking – EASY!

My Mother’s Homemade Vanilla Ice Cream Recipe

Flavors Other Than Vanilla Homemade Ice Cream

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More Frog Pics (from the pond)

Deb’s House Concerts

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Tiny Frogs

These frogs are so small. They don’t seem to get any bigger. I don’t know  if they won’t grow or if they grow slowly.

Tiny Frog on the Tip of a Finger

These little frogs are so small they can sit on the tip of your finger.

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Singing: hospice last night, elementary school today

Deb’s House Concerts

Hospice Last Night

Last night, I went with my sister to visit a friend who is in her last days of life in this world. My sister asked her if she wanted music, and she said yes. So, I took a guitar, and we went to see her.

Psalm 23

We sang Psalm 23 (with music I wrote when I was in the ninth grade). I have sung it for weddings, funerals, church services and people who are dying.  I sang it for my grandmother before she died, my sister’s wedding and my grandfather’s funeral (all a few years ago).

I sang it for church and for the funeral of a woman in our church, by her request before she died, way back when I was in high school. I’ve sung it many times and many places over the years. I don’t know why I’ve never had it arranged for choirs and soloists and sold it through a church music publisher. (I wrote the music only, of course!)

Psalm 23

The Lord is my Shepherd. I shall not want.

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures.
He leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul.
He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake.

Yea, tho I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil.  For Thou art with me, Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me.

Thou preparest a table before  me in the presence of mine enemies. Thou annointest my head with oil. My cup runneth over.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Amazing Grace

Amazing Grace was my great-grandmother’s favorite song. So, of course, it was my favorite song at some point in my childhood. Later, I liked it less because of the “saved a wretch like me” part, thinking there is too much emphasis on everyone being so horrible rather than people knowing they are greatly loved. But, that line has legitimacy. It was written by a former slave trader in the 1700s, and many people do feel wretched. I like the song other than the word ‘wretch’.

My sister and I sang it slowly, with harmony. It felt like  Appalachian mountain music. I liked it that way, and I thought maybe I’ll start singing it again after all.

Amazing Grace

Amazing Grace how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost, but now I am found, was blind, but now I see.

T’was grace that taught my heart to fear, and grace my fears relieved. How precious did that grace appear the hour I first believed.

Through many dangers toils and snares we have already come.
‘Tis grace hath brought us safe this far, and grace will lead me home.

When we’ve been there ten thousand years bright shining as the sun, we’ve no less days to sing God’s praise than when we’d first begun.

The Lord Bless You and Keep You

We tried to sing the version that we’ve heard sung by the choir all our lives. We were kind of winging it, and we had a little trouble with the various parts and overlapping lines. But, we had the idea.

The Lord Bless you and keep you.
The Lord make His face to shine upon you, and, give you peace.
The Lord lift His countenance upon, and be gracious unto you.

Elementary School Today

This morning, I sang for one first grade class and three fourth grade classes (the fourth graders were all in one room). I was at the school for about two hours. This afternoon, in about an hour, I’ll sing again for the other first grade where I’ve sung three times before. Those kids already know my songs and sing them with me!

First Grade This Morning

This morning, I sang for one of the first grade classes I sang for awhile back. This is the last week of school. The children are excited and full of energy. I was with them for close to an hour, I think.

I always try to tell them a little bit about the songs. I tell them whatever special  message I intended, and I encourage them to sing along. The first graders are ready to sing at a moment’s notice. They love it.

Fourth Graders … a room full of them

Three classes of fourth graders were all together in a room, having just completed another activity together. There was testing going on in the school, and they needed to stay quiet, so the teachers were happy to have me appear (after singing for the 1st grade) and entertain the kids for a few minutes. I think I probably sang for about 45 minutes for them, too.

Stop Talking So Much! Sing!

I should probably think about how I feel when I’m in the audience, so I can make sure I don’t talk too much between songs. When people go to hear you sing, that’s what they want, songs.

Still Finding My Way

I’m still finding my way with singing for kids. I’m wanting to be sure I have the right songs for the right age group. So, I’m probably doing a little more storytelling and explaining (the history of the songs) than I would normally do.

Over-Explaining the Meaning and the Message

I want to be so careful to be sure these children understand the meaning and the message of the songs. I don’t know why I think I have to explain the lyrics. I grew up with fairy tales filled with archetypal characters, good and evil. And,  there were fables, too, complete with talking animals and lessons at the end of each story. That’s how my songs on the Weird Duck cd are. So, why do I feel like I have to explain them???? (sigh)

It’s Been Good For Me

I used to sing often when I was younger. But, at some point, I backed away from it.  It’s always been hard for me to know where I fit musically. It’s been good for me to start singing again in the past few months, singing for 1st and 4th grade classes (by arrangement with the teachers).  It’s been great having such enthusiastic audiences.

Still Trying to Find My Place Musically

I’ve never been sure who my audience is. I’m still not entirely sure who likes my music.

Lots of people downloaded my songs when they were on eFolkMusic. But, I was never sure who my audience was. I’d still like to figure that out.

Weird Duck Is Fun to Sing

I do know that early elementary school aged children enjoy my Weird Duck songs.  In the class where I’ve been the most in the past few months, those children know the choruses to the songs. They really like Weird Duck, and they sing it with great gusto!

“You’re so weird,” you tell me all the time.
“You’re so weird,” you tell me all the time.
“You’re  a weird duck. You’re  a weird duck.”
from Weird Duck c.2003 Deborah L. Hord

Informal Market Analysis

I was a little unsure about the age-appropriateness of the songs on the Weird Duck cd (before these recent performances for the children), but I feel confident about it now. How could I have even imagined that fables and fairy tales about animals would not be appropriate for this age group?

I’ve ‘tested’ all the songs on the first graders in the class where I’ve sung so many times. I’ve given them the option of telling me if they don’t like any of the songs. I’ve asked if the songs were too young for them, or too serious, or if they just didn’t like them for some reason. They were enthusiastic about every single song.

Renaming the Weird Duck CD (removing the subtitle)

I’m thinking of removing the subtitle of my Weird Duck cd. It used to say, “Weird Duck – and other animal tales for grown ups.” But, I now think the songs are just right for the children. They’re all about animals: ducks, dogs, a snow goose, a donkey, a teddy bear, a small frightened stray (type of animal unnamed).

Singing for Schools and Birthday Parties

I’m looking forward to developing music programs for children, for schools or birthday parties, by invitation of the teachers and parents. And, I’ll redo the packaging on the cd, so that it’s colorful and attractive and has the words, too.

mp3 Downloads Online

I used to have my songs available on eFolkMusic. They’re not available there anymore. They moved to a new platform (linux vs windows), and they’re no longer selling the music there. I still am listed there as one of their artists, but the selling of the mp3s has to be done elsewhere.

After the efolkmusic site moved, I did not do anything else. They encouraged us to list our songs with other websites where we could sell mp3 downloads. But I’ve not yet put up my songs anywhere else. I need to focus on that again, and put up mp3s where people can download and build a collection of their favorite songs.

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