The Heaviness of Watching A Married (to a woman) Gay Man’s Video Blog

Deb’s House Concerts

Oppression Of Gay People By Anti-Gay Religious Views

I read a few comments, on Carol Boltz’s web page, written by a man who has strong attractions to other men. This would be okay, but he is married and he has children. He chooses to try to suppress these feelings for other men, because he is married and has children, and because his religious beliefs tell him it is wrong to be with another man.

His Profile Led Me To His Video Blog

From his comments on Carol’s page, I went to his blogger profile, and then to his personal blog. Once I was there, I watched some of his videos. He posts videos frequently. In most of them, he talks about his attraction to other men.

I Felt Such Heaviness and Sadness Watching Him

My impression of this man, from what I can see and hear in his video posts, is that he is swimming in the ocean while wearing a lead suit. I don’t usually feel such a heaviness and struggle from people I read online. Maybe it was different with this man, because he was talking into the camera, and that made it more personal.

I Left A Comment (of course I left a comment!)

This is what I said:

I reached your blog through your  comments on Carol Boltz’s blog. I’ve watched parts of several of your videos (from most recent back to this one).

I feel sad watching you and listening to you. Maybe I’m misunderstanding, but what I feel from you is so much pain and so much struggle. You seem like a really nice guy. It hurts to see you hurting so much.

What about Bruno? I’ve not seen it. I might see it at some point. From what I’ve read, I don’t think the goal of the movie was what you thought it was (to desensitize people to gay sex).

I think the bottom line with Bruno was that the actor is a comedian and he wanted to get laughs. In this movie, he did it by playing an over-the-top gay stereotype. (He played an entirely different character in his last movie.)

Bruno, the movie, was supposedly pointing out the anti-gay attitudes of people. But again, from what I’ve heard, Sasha Baron Cohen used extremes and stereotypes that actually (probably? possibly?) reinforce negative attitudes about gay people. I guess time will tell about that.

From what I’ve read, gay rights groups are not happy about the movie because it reinforces the idea that gay=nothing-but-sex (and does not acknowledge relationship, love and emotional intimacy, all parts of any close, loving, adult, significant other relationship).

It seems to me that the institutions that create (or influence the creation of) the greatest anti-gay beliefs, behaviors and laws  are the fundamentalist parts of organized religions. I don’t see that Jesus ever said one bad word about same sex relationships.

Same-sex attractions and relationships existed in the time of Jesus. There were social and tribal rules in the Old Testament about men being with men during the time when the Israelites needed to build their nation. If men were attracted to men that far back in history, then surely there were same-sex attractions in the time of Jesus.

Jesus never said one word against same sex attraction or same-sex love relationships. The way I see it, if God said it was wrong (as the fundamentalist groups want us to believe), why did God (Jesus) not say it in all of His teachings during His time on earth? He certainly had plenty to say about many other things.

[UPDATE: Saturday August 29, 2009. Rob would like to invite you to visit his page. It's called The Architect's Garage.]