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Archive for March, 2010

Deb’s House Concerts

A Man With a Passion for Music

I happened upon Brian Currin’s web site one day and saved it so I could share it with you. He’s South African and he promotes South African music online. Here’s what he says about himself:

Online Marketing is about doing more of the right things, more often” — Brian Currin

My name is Brian Currin, I live in Cape Town, South Africa and I’ve loved music all my life. I was born 4 days after “The Day The Music Died” according to Don McLean (You figure it out!). I am a self-employed online marketing specialist and music researcher.

I have been marketing South African (and International) music online since January 1999 and I have helped many South African musicians and music-related businesses establish a presence on the internet.

Links to Brian Currin’s Music Projects

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Deb’s House Concerts

I’ve Written About “The Architect’s Garage” Before

I don’t know why I keep reading (and, watching) this video blog.  I guess it’s like a soap opera. I want to see what will happen next. I care about what happens to the characters.  I’m pulling for the hero and the heroine, but they don’t seem to be pulling for themselves.  I see what it looks like they’re trying to do with the plot, but there is an underlying theme that is louder than any of the things that are deliberately spoken by either of the main characters.

Zucchinis and Tube Socks

Really???? Is that what we are, men and women, nothing more than the body parts alluded-to with these images (shown repeatedly, and held up as demonstration items, during this video diary entry)? We are asked to comment, and in our comments tell if we are a ‘zucchini’ or a ‘tube sock’.

What’s My Point?

The point I tried to make with my comment was that we are all much more than our male or female body parts. And, relationships between men and women, or men and men, or women and women, are much more than just those ‘parts’ doing something.  That’s what I said in my comment. Humans, and relationships between humans, are so much more than body parts.

“Health” AND “Peace, Justice and Equality”

I’m linking this post to these categories only because I believe it is more healthy to be honest with yourself than dishonest. That’s the ‘health’ connection. The ‘peace, justice and equality’ connection is that there is no peace, justice or equality as long as people are taught from childhood that they are less than (not to mention evil, wicked, perverted, child molesters, and an abomination to God) by religious teachings that make every effort to keep a foot on the necks of those who don’t fit into the “male + female = acceptable to God” category.

The Comment I Submitted

I responded with a comment to the repeated statements that men are ‘zucchinis’ and women are ‘tube socks’, and that ‘zucchinis’ are (by nature) dominant and ‘tube socks’ are (by nature) submissive, and that it just doesn’t make sense for two ‘zucchinis’ or two ‘tube socks’ to be together, because ‘zucchinis’ are supposed to be in ‘tube socks’.  It just seemed like such an over-simplification of ‘relationships’ and an obsession with body parts as the only measure of what makes a valid relationship. This is the comment I submitted (plus one more sentence in []):

Anonymous deb said…

I wrote a comment, and then my browser crashed the comment window, and I lost the comment. I hesitated about trying to rewrite it, because you may not want to post it anyway, but I do want to share my thoughts.

I agree with what Jon said. Human sexuality is so much more than ‘zucchinis’ and ‘tube socks’. People are so much more than their body parts. Relationships are so much more than sexual acts.

Exploring the issue of Adam and Eve and God and men and women being together for a reason, I have a few questions. If men and women are together for the purpose of procreation, what about the couples who are unable to have children? What about older couples who meet after their childbearing years have ended? What about couples who no longer have ‘zucchini and tube sock’ sex because of illness, or disease, or injury? What about the couples who have had all the children they plan to have? What should these couples do? Should they end their relationships because they are not having sex and bringing children into the world?

People are so much more than their sexual body parts. Relationships are so much more than specific acts. Viewing human sexuality through the perspective of pornography is no better than saying a photocopy of picture of a mountain is the mountain itself.

If you want to use movies to try to understand ‘gay’ and why two men might be together, why not look at movies that are about relationships instead of contrived sexual scenes? Watch something sweet like “A Touch of Pink” and see a movie-version of a relationship between two men who love each other. You never once see their ‘zucchinis’, but you see how they love each other. You see a real (Hollywood style) relationship. It’s a movie, so it’s not real life, but it’s much more real than porn. [It’s fluffy and sweet, and one of the guys has an imaginary friend he confides in, but it’s definitely more ‘real’ than ‘zucchinis’, ‘tube socks’ and porn explanations of sexuality and relationships.]

Why not ask your readers and viewers to recommend movies you can watch to try to imagine relationships between two men? That’s what sexuality is about. It’s not about porn-movie sex. It’s about relationship.

February 23, 2010 12:51 PM

What Was I Responding To?

This is a complete transcript of Rob’s video post called “Mechanics”:

Monday, February 22, 2010

Mechanics

00:06
Are you a zucchini or a tube sock?
00:17
Let’s just say zucchinis are like men and tube socks are like women.
00:35
I want to talk about mechanics today.
00:44
Never have I been able to, knowing that I’m one of these, make the jump, or take the leap, in my own mind, to really understand and accept putting two of these together, or, putting two of these together.
01:32
There’s always seemed to be a very natural, ordered connection between these two things, that I believe that God-breathed, or IS God-breathed.
02:10
Question for you, if you’re gay or lesbian: How did YOU justify taking THIS, and adding two it, saying, “two of these together make sense, or two of these together make sense.” Or, perhaps you completely reject this, and maybe consider it to be something it’s not.
03:03
I would really find it interesting to know, maybe because you’ve got same-sex attractions that you justify in your own mind that that is enough to either discount this or add to this.
03:33
Maybe you were abused as a child and that was introduced, “that” being some sort of homosexual environment or “act” was forcibly introduced to you and it changed your thinking. um.
04:10
I have never been able to get past the pragmatic notion of two zucchinis together, um, obviously a zucchini, just by its nature, is a, is a dominating object. And, the tube sock is more of a submissive object.
05:06
Now, I realize I’m just talking about physicality. So, taking two of the same object and putting them together always seemed to have little, if any, appeal to me, purely from a logical standpoint.
05:47
Of course, the Bible talks about homosexuality. It’s very clear that it’s not part of God’s plan. Even if you go back to Genesis, you look and you see God created man, woman, put them together for intended purposes. Even after the fall those purposes more or less stayed the same.
06:17
So, I offer this as an opportunity for you as a individual who struggles with same-sex attraction and isn’t actively involved with someone of the same sex, or maybe you’ve got same-sex attraction and you ARE involved.
06:43
Maybe you’re in a monogamous relationship, or not. I’d like to know your opinion.
06:54
I’d like to know what separates you from me in terms of your thinking. How do you justify, from a pragmatic standpoint, bringing together two members of the same sex together.
07:17
Signing off.

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Deb’s House Concerts

Following RuPaul With Lingerie

It seems only right to follow RuPaul’s drag show post with a post about a lingerie ad. At the least, it’s a convenient place for me to put this post.

Sexiness for Everyone

That’s the name of this lingerie ad. It’s definitely breaking new ground and pushing the limits. It achieves the sexiness goal. The limits it is pushing are possibly religious and political.

Count on the Europeans

I used to expect the next new thing to come from California. It seemed to be the way things happened. They’d start in California and move east.  But, in matters of sexiness married to religion, I don’t expect to see it in the USA. For all the simulated and suggested sex on television and in movies, there is still an underlying conservative attitude in many  places. The lingerie company that put out the ‘sexiness for everyone’ ad is based in Germany. Daily Finance had the story.

Glow Berlin

I think the company took a huge risk and stepped way outside the usual lingerie imagery. If you liked the ad, they’d like you to visit their Liaison Dangereuse page, too. It helps if you know German.

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Deb’s House Concerts

RuPaul As A Man

I look at the stats for this site, and very often there will be a search for “RuPaul As A Man”.  I think that’s funny. RuPaul IS a man. He does not have to dress up in order to pretend to  be a man.

RuPaul As A Woman

We, television viewers, know RuPaul as a woman, or at least as a drag queen. The first time I ever heard of RuPaul, he was on some late night show. Maybe he had his own show. It seems like it was ten or fifteen years ago. He was a tall, blonde, glamorous drag queen. He was really going against the grain then. But now, his drag queen persona hardly raises an eyebrow.

RuPaul Is Bold And Beautiful

RuPaul is a gay man, and does not try to hide it. He’s bold and beautiful when he is dressed as a woman, but is not a woman. Nor, is he a transgendered person in transition. He is a gay man who performs as a drag queen.

RuPaul As An ‘Ex-Gay’

I’ve written about this before. RuPaul was not personally ‘ex-gay’, but he played an ‘ex-gay’ counselor in a campy movie that exposes the lies and manipulation of the ‘ex-gay’ movement in a comedy that plays on every stereotype (just like the ex-gay movement does).  He plays a man in that movie, But, I’m A Cheerleader, a gay man trying hard to be ‘ex-gay’ while trying to teach young gay men how to be ‘ex-gay’.

I Like RuPaul

I’ve not seen RuPaul’s Drag Race, so I can’t comment on it. But, I like his larger than life drag queen persona. I like that he is not afraid to live out loud and draw attention to himself. I don’t know what effect he has on young gay people, but I hope what he does for them is to give them the courage to be themselves and love themselves as they are.

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Deb’s House Concerts

Spoofing “Going Rogue” With”Going Vogue

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Deb’s House Concerts

The Advertising and Availability Yo-Yo

Advertising influences us. It tells us we want that food they show us, we need that food they show us.  Availability makes it possible for us to get that food and eat it as often as we like. Then, advertising makes us believe we are ugly and fat, and we need to get rid of that ‘ugly fat’. The ‘diet’ industry is huge. There is a massive amount of money being made by making people feel terribly about themselves.

Health vs Weight Loss

I don’t want to take the ‘weight loss’ approach. Even if we were all rail-thin, we’d probably have body issues. We’ve learned since childhood, from advertisers and those who believe them, that we are not okay the way we are. That’s the way it is for most women. It’s an issue created and driven by advertising.

My Goal

My goal with my new blog, Walking Back Home, is to make my own struggle public. It isn’t about drawing attention to myself, because I don’t actually like that (contrary to how it might appear, since I write this blog). My reason for being ‘public’ about this is that I hope it will encourage me to stay on track. It’s easier to walk with a friend. It’s easier to work out with a friend. It’s easier to eat a healthy diet when eating it with others who eat a healthy diet.

My Hope

My hope is that by writing about my struggles and efforts related to exercise and food, I will begin to do more of what I need to do to be healthy. I hope that by writing this new blog, I will take myself to a place of doing what I need to do to help myself return to my best physical self, and by doing that, keep myself healthy for decades to come.

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Deb’s House Concerts

Candy Bars for Breakfast

I spent much of the past year having a Snickers and a Mountain Dew almost every day, at least 3 or 4 times a week. Sometimes, I had more than one of each. And, more than once, I ‘rewarded’ myself (for what, I don’t recall) by stopping my Krispie Kreme and having one (or more) of their mouth-watering doughnuts.  I ate what I wanted, when I wanted, and I continued to pretend there would be no bad result of so many empty calorie consumed while spending endless hours sitting and listening to lectures, or sitting at my computer.

One Pound Per Month

I think I gained about a pound a month over the past year. That’s a lot of weight. I know it’s possible to gain more than that, but that was without doing anything ‘excessivly excessive’. ;) Once before, when I was in Oklahoma, I lived a mile from a Braum’s Ice Cream store. I really like milkshakes, and I could easily use half of a box of ice cream in a huge milkshake.  I also enjoyed the variety of flavors they had.  So, at one point, I ate a container of ice cream every other day for a month. I did it because  could, because I wanted to, and because it tasted good. I quit after I gained about ten pounds in a month. I think I lost those ten pounds later, or most of them, but I don’t remember now.

Easy On, Not-So-Easy Off

The number beside the letters BMI (body mass index) are bigger than they should be. If I were the size that goes with my ‘healthy’ BMI, I’d “look like a stick”, or so I say. In reality, I’d be slim, and I’d look healthy. I do not, in any way, endorse ‘fad diets’. I’m not even fond of most of the ‘diet’ books and ‘diet’ companies.

Weight Loss vs Good Health

What I am looking for is good health. I have been lucky enough to be healthy for my entire life to this point, in spite of my poor choices in nutrition. I’ve probably eaten enough good (healthy) food to counter-balance a lot of my ‘bad food’ choices. But, I’m also at the point where the balance is tipping, and it’s not tipping in the ‘healthy’ direction. So, it is imperative that I make changes now, and make them lifestyle changes, not ‘fad diet’ changes. My goal is good health, from this point forward, not weight loss (although that will happen if I change how I eat and how much I move).

March 8, 2010

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