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The post about flowers hidden about my yard last summer and the post about my first stained glass piece are consistently high on the list of posts viewed on this site. (Is it because everyone loves flowers and stained glass?) The other post that is usually at the top of the list is the “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” post.

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Yesterday, Nathan Pacheco passed “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” in the daily searches and views. I am happy to see that. Nathan is a fine man with tremendous heart and talent. If you don’t yet know about him, visit the Yanni website and click the Yanni Voices tab. Happy listening!

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Links from a few stories about this ruling:

Related and Other Topics:

Videos:

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10 posts in the last 23 days.

Remember “Lean In For A Kiss” is still available free on eFolkMusic.

Click here to get the music

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Check out Nathan Pacheco!

He’s going to be a worldwide sensation.

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Rock On, Robin Roberts April 22, 2008

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The Country Bunny Crossed the River Jordan and Came Back With Essential Salts From the Dead Sea April 22, 2008

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Talent, Violin, Juilliard, Paranoia, Rage, Trumpet, Untreated Mental Illness … the story was on NPR’s Fresh Air today April 22, 2008

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Day of Silence April 25, 2008 - Watch Larry King’s Public Service Announcement April 24, 2008

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Top Three Today - Posts, Searches, Most Active April 24, 2008

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Gay PDA on 20/20 … compares public reactions to pda by straights and gays (man-woman, man-man, woman-woman) April 28, 2008

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More Must-See Videos: Stroke/Jill Bolte Taylor, Civil Rights/Dare Not Walk Alone, Self Portraits/Elephant Artisans, Documentary/Story of Stuff, Ellen/”This is personal to me.” May 3, 2008

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And to think I thought that when I moved to North Carolina I would miss the constant wind in Oklahoma. May 9, 2008

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Nathan Pacheco: The Man With the Beautiful Voice Writes and Performs With Yanni May 9, 2008

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Minstrel Boy’s Great Blue Heron May 11, 2008

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Watch this.

Larry King PSA for Day of Silence

Now, send it on to everyone you know.

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Day of Silence Posts:

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Tubing … okay, okay, YouTube-ing … April 5, 2008

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What Sort of Life Will This Child Have? April 8, 2008

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The Day of Silence Will Soon Be Here - April 25, 2008 April 11, 2008

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Day of Silence - April 25, 2008 April 11, 2008

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For the Procrastinators in the Room … April 15th is Right Around the Corner April 12, 2008

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Hate Crimes and “Special Rights” April 13, 2008

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A Heartfelt Letter, Beautiful Flowers and A Song April 16, 2008

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My Friend Will Be Walking in the AIDS Walk in Charlotte, N.C. Saturday, May 3, 2008 Please Visit His Page and Donate April 17, 2008

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So Sorry Sally Sullied $$$ Opportunities for Oklahoma City Oklahoma April 17, 2008

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Dear Sally Kern,

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I just finished reading this post (and comments) over at Pam’s House Blend: Sally Kern’s bigotry is sinking Oklahoma’s economic ship. Please step back and think about the damage you are doing to the state of Oklahoma.

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Our entire country is experiencing economic problems. Oklahoma is experiencing economic problems, too. If Fortune 500 companies choose NOT to relocate to Oklahoma after hearing about your very-public comments (and the standing ovation you received from your partners in law-making), then you and your colleagues have contributed to the continued economic troubles experienced by the people who elected you to represent them and make their lives better.

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Please try to see Oklahoma through the eyes of people who see it through your words and attitudes. And, please try to see the very real need the people of Oklahoma have for jobs and food and shelter. (These are very basic needs we all have.) And then, please look at how your representation of the state may very well be causing economic harm to the people who chose you to represent them.

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Please think of your constituents, and all the people of Oklahoma, and recognize that your view of the definition of sin is not what pays for food and shelter for your constituents. But, your loud and frequent pronouncements of your definition of sin may be what takes away the possibility of new jobs in Oklahoma.

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You don’t have to stop believing what you believe. But, please stop saying it so loudly that you drive away companies that could help the people you were elected to serve.

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The Journal Record - “OKC Chamber: Kern spooks big biz relocation consultant”

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For Anyone Who Cares (In Case You’re Curious)

The WordPress.com stats for this site are as follows:

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How is it a “special right” to have your murder listed as a hate crime when the people who murdered you did so because they did not like who they thought you were? I have a problem with the anti-gay groups who say it is a special right for lgbt persons to be legally protected (by hate crimes legislation).

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Jim Burroway at Box Turtle Bulletin wrote about a gay man who lived in a small town. He was brutally murdered by three men, yet his death did not show up in the hate crime statistics. The circumstances of his murder indicate that he was murdered because he was gay.

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Jim said this murder was one hate crime that fell through the cracks in the reporting system. This is not breaking news. It happened two years ago. But, I believe it is still relevant. You can read the story and, for a moment, honor the memory of yet another good person who was brutally murdered by people who thought he did not deserve to live simply because he was gay.

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The Hate Crimes Act of 1990 requires the FBI to compile and release an annual summary of hate crimes in the United States… Unfortunately, the law doesn’t require local law enforcement agencies to participate in the reporting program, nor is there any funding to offset the costs of collecting and reporting the data.

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To those who use the equation “homosexuality = sin + perversion + wickedness + abomination to God (plus more of these words)”, try to imagine that the person being brutally attacked is your much loved child, your much loved sibling, your much loved parent, your much loved friend or teacher or neighbor or minister. That’s who you are diminishing with your words. That’s who you are refusing to protect when someone uses your verbal attacks as motivation and justification for physical violence.

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Experts have noted that hate crimes based on sexual orientation are often more brutal than the typical assult. Gay bashings … are often characterized by “overkill”, indicating a higher level of emotional reaction on the part of the attacker. This is one distinction which makes hate-motivated crimes different from ordinary crimes, and it partly explains why thirty-one states have hate crime laws which cover sexual orientation.

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Read about Daniel Fetty. As you imagine what happened to him, imagine the same attack happening to someone you love. Is this what you want for your loved ones who happen to be gay or lesbian or bisexual or transgendered? There is a good reason to include sexual orientation in hate crimes legislation. Accurate reporting of hate crimes based on perceived sexual orientation or gender expression would help show that basic protections and equal rights under the law are not “special rights”.

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Good As You’s Take on Sally Kern’s Meeting With PFLAG and PFLAG’s Press Release March 27, 2008

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Weary of The Sally March 29, 2008

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Earth Hour March 29, 2008

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There Is Yet Much Work To Do March 30, 2008

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Bullying: The Root of Fatal Violence in Our Public Schools March 31, 2008

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John McCain’s chart-topping single “Bomb Iran” March 31, 2008

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“Silly Sally sullies PFLAG’s account” - another Good-As-You take on current events March 31, 2008

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“Help Stop Sally Kern’s Right-Wing Machine!” - a request from Oklahomans for Equality (OkEq) and the Cimarron Alliance Foundation (CAF) March 31, 2008

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“The Bush administration says new ethics guidelines written by the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists may violate federal “conscience” laws.” - NPR.org April 1, 2008

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Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell on NPR Today … and other OKEQ Events This Week April 3, 2008

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Oklahoma is not the only place where people make their unfriendly-towards-gay-people views known. This sign was described as being in a rural part of North Carolina. I spent recent years of my life in Oklahoma. I now live in North Carolina, my home state. These attitudes sadden me no matter where they are expressed. I hope that hearts and minds will continue to change for the better, and some day there will be a place where all are people are valued and all are welcomed.

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Thanks to Craig at NC Gay Activist for this photo.

Visit Towleroad for the original post and comments.

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[UPDATE: Sunday March 30, 2008 - I will list links to support and advocacy groups at the end of this post as I learn of them. I will list links to sites that monitor Kern's hate-speech (and, those groups who promote and support her hate-speech) in a comment to this post.]

It seems that Sally Kern’s misinformed attacks on gay people will not end any time soon. I will be surprised if they ever end. Before the YouTube video that made her famous, I had not heard of her. Now, her legally-protected hate speech is covered at every turn.

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Sally Kern shows no signs of stopping her public attacks on gay people or changing her views. If anything, she has dug in her heels, and she is going to great lengths to repeat her ignorant and hate-tinged views as often as possible in print (letter to OK newspaper) and at her public meetings.

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I must say Sally Kern’s behavior does not surprise me. I know someone who is like her in making ignorant and narrow-minded statements and holding ignorant and narrow-minded views. I was subjected to that person’s anti-everyone attitudes for most of my life. Only in recent years did someone point out to me that she talks that way to everyone, and I just let her negativity affect me more than most. I still feel sorry for the young people who have to listen to her hate-speech.

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I have been fortunate never to have lived with the person I know who feels the need to verbally attack every group she thinks is ‘bad’ (based on her personal beliefs). That person has never changed for as long as I’ve known her. I believe she means well and probably has not the slightest idea of the damage she did to me over the years. Because of the misguided preacher of hate in my own life, someone who I want to believe is actually a good and loving person who means well (at least in her own personal circle), I want to believe the same of Sally Kern.

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I want to believe Sally Kern means well, in her own misguided way. I want to believe she has no idea how much harm she causes people with her attitudes, actions and words. I feel especially sorry for any young people who trust her and look up to her, people over whom she has influence. If she was as outspoken about her views during her 20 years in education as the person I know, believing she was doing the right thing by talking about how bad other people are for their very existence, then she very well may have caused harm to many people. This is my personal opinion based on my experience with negative and judgmental people. I think it’s a shame for adults to be so hostile and negative towards kids. It’s hard enough to grow up. Sally Kern’s views are no friend to any young person who is gay or lesbian.

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I think the reason I’ve posted so much about The Sally is that she’s like the anti-everyone person in my life. That person caused me harm over the years with her negativity and hate speech, and she was someone I rarely saw. Words matter. Words can be used to heal or to harm. I have always believed if I were ever in a position to speak up about these things, I should, for the sake of other kids who are harmed by such ignorant and hateful attitudes, especially when those things are spoken by people who say they are only saying what God says. Incredible damage is often done by people who say they speak in the name of God (but do so, most certainly, without the blessing of God).

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In my own life, I internalized the anti-everyone speech I heard from the person I knew. I don’t know why I let her get to me. Other people were able to just tune her out. But, I was always (in my own mind) the champion of the underdog. So, she’d say anti-this-group or anti-that-group things to me, and I’d always take the bait and end up in an argument with her. But, she was older and very negative. It was not good for me. I was told many times by someone who knew her that she was really a good and loving person. I even saw good (thoughtful) behavior by her at times. But, for most of my life, the major influence she had on me was of pouring out negativity and judgment on just about everyone. Being confronted with her negativity and voiced judgmental attitudes was like being in a toxic waste swamp. I didn’t drown, but I did not escape without injury.

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I think it’s all about being misguided. The attitudes and beliefs vocalized by Sally Kern, and so many like her, are a watered down version of what the Westboro ‘church’ (a tax-exempt hate group) does. They spread hate, intolerance and rejection of others in the name of religion. It’s really sad that some of the people who have influence (certain religious leaders, educators and politicians) use their influence to create an environment of intolerance and rejection of others rather than one of inclusion and acceptance. (The person I know once named all the ‘bad’ people, and they were everyone. It was really pretty amazing. Any individual or group that was not just like her politically or religiously was in the ‘bad’ category.)

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I hope the young people in Sally Kern’s life, and those within earshot of her unloving words, will close their minds and hearts to the lack of love she spreads. She speaks as if she believes she is spreading God’s word. That’s what the person I know has always done. I don’t see it that way. What I see is the incredible harm she is (potentially) causing.

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I hope for a world where we all accept ourselves and each other. I hope for a world where people can co-exist with different religions, different languages, different loves, different colors of skin, different abilities, different interests. It saddens me to see how so much energy is spent (time, human life, money, emotion) to destroy others who are different. I can’t see that there is anything good in Sally Kern’s repeated public forums where she spreads her anti-gay message. She is quickly becoming too much like the anti-gay ‘church’ that pickets funerals and carries signs thanking God for deaths.

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I have become weary of The Sally.

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If you, too, are tired of The Sally, and you want to escape the negativity of her words and words of those like her, look instead to people and places that offer support and encouragement. PFLAG. Soulfource. Heartstrong. If you’re in Oklahoma, OKEQ. If anyone wants to list support and advocacy groups in the comments, you are welcome to do so. There are also many church groups who are ‘open and affirming’. I welcome links to those groups, too.

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In the long term, if you are tired of hate-speech and anti-equality legislation, be sure you are registered to vote … and vote. These issues are not ‘gay’ issues, they are human issues and equality issues. Americans need to speak up against intolerance and hate. We need to vote proponents of inequality and hate out of office.

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I just remembered another list of equal rights advocacy groups. It’s listed on an anti-gay site (to identify the enemy). I won’t name the anti-gay-for-pay website, but thanks for the link to equal rights organizations:

• Human Rights Campaign
• National Gay and Lesbian Task Force
• Gay, Lesbian, Straight Education Network (GLSEN)
• Parents, Family and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG)
• Lambda Legal
• ACLU Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Project
• Servicemembers Legal Defense Network
• Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD)
• National Center for Lesbian Rights
• National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association
• GenderPac
• Soulforce
• Gay & Lesbian Advocates and Defenders

More support and advocacy groups:

Cimarron Alliance - for A Fair and Just Oklahoma

Equality NC - Equality North Carolina is a statewide advocacy organization that works to secure equal rights and justice for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender North Carolinians

Youth Services of Tulsa - Nonprofit community agency devoted to advocacy for youth

Herland Sister Resources - Herland is a nonprofit organization operated entirely by volunteers. We provide resources for the women’s community to strengthen, enrich, and support women, and to promote a world free of prejudice, oppression and exploitation.

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I enjoy the way Good As You takes gay news and adds their own humorous (and serious) perspective:

Well, at least she doesn’t want us fired from Dept. of Terrorism

In what was her first meeting with an organized LGBT group, Sally Kern today met with representatives from Oklahoma City chapter of Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG). And while the OK Rep. did not apologize for or back away from her not OK comments, there was one pretty big development from the meeting: According to the PFLAGers, Sally did “agree with” the idea that gay and lesbians should not be fired from their jobs because of their sexual orientation.

Go read the group’s press release for more:

Oklahoma City PFLAG Supporters Meet with Sally Kern [PFLAG]
(H/t: P1Q)

Though honestly, we’re a little hesitant to see this as a big step. After all, considering what we already know about Sally, there’s a very good chance that (a) she meant it’s our “immorality” that should get us fired, not our orientation, (b) she meant we shouldn’t be fired because of our orientation because she doesn’t believe we actually have a gay orientation, or (c) she doesn’t think we should be fired because she doesn’t think we should ever be hired in the first place. Call us self-loving if you must, but the whole “you gays are gonna destroy society” thing has left us a teensy bit leery.

Here’s the official PFLAG press release about the meeting:

Oklahoma City PFLAG Supporters Meet with Sally Kern

For Immediate Release
March 27, 2008

Contact:
Rev. Loyce Newton-Edwards
(405) 642-0124 / loycee@sbcglobal.net
Steve Ralls
(202) 467-8180 X212 / sralls@pflag.org

Oklahoma City PFLAG Supporters Meet with Sally Kern
Lawmaker Agrees Gays Should Not Be Fired Because of Sexual Orientation

Oklahoma City, OK– Members and allies of the Oklahoma City Chapter of Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) met earlier today with Oklahoma State Representative Sally Kern to express concern about her recent comments comparing the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community to a “cancer” that “is just destroying this nation.” Kern also referred to GLBT Americans as “the biggest threat our nation has, even more so than terrorism.”

Rev. Loyce Newton-Edwards, president of the Oklahoma City PFLAG chapter, was joined in the meeting by Dr. Rev. Kathy McCallie, pastor of the Church of the Open Arms and Rev. Jim Shields, a retired UnitedMethodistChurch minister from Kern’s district. The group requested a meeting with Kern following a March 18 rally at the state capitol. In her meeting with PFLAG supporters today, Kern said that “I agree with” the idea that gay and lesbian Americans should not be fired from their jobs because of their sexual orientation.

“We appreciate Representative Kern taking the time to meet with us and consider an important, ongoing dialogue about our families and loved ones,” said Rev. Newton-Edwards. “Representative Kern expressed a commendable desire to consider every family, every Oklahoman and every constituent. Today, she took an important first step forward that, we hope, will be the beginning of many conversations with our families and our community.”

Kern did not express an apology during today’s meeting, nor did she back away from any of her earlier comments. The meeting was, however, her first with a group working within the GLBT and allied communities. Newton-Edwards, McCallie and Shields all shared their own stories about why Kern’s comments were personally hurtful, and asked the lawmaker to remember their loved ones when speaking out, and casting votes, in the future. Newton-Edwards also invited Kern to attend an upcoming PFLAG meeting, and Kern said she would consider the request.

“As Representative Kern begins to listen to voices from across her district, and the state, she will hear the stories of hard-working, patriotic men and women who make our communities better, our nation safer and our families stronger,” said Jody M. Huckaby, executive director of PFLAG. “We appreciate this initial meeting, and PFLAG stands ready to be a resource to Kern and a champion for her constituents. We look forward to continuing today’s conversation and working with Kern to move equality forward. Bringing communities together, rather than dividing the public with inflammatory words, should be a top priority of every elected leader. Kern will always find open arms and welcoming families at PFLAG.”

According to The Williams Institute at the University of California-Los Angeles, Oklahoma is home to more than 89,500 GLBT citizens; nearly 10,000 lesbian and gay military veterans; and approximately 4,000 children are living in loving homes headed by same-sex couples. According to the Institute, Representative Kern’s district is home to more GLBT Oklahomans than any other district in the state.

For more information, visit www.pflag.org.

# # #

PFLAG promotes the health and well-being of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender persons, their families and friends through: support, to cope with an adverse society; education, to enlighten an ill-informed public; and advocacy, to end discrimination and to secure equal civil rights. Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays provides opportunity for dialogue about sexual orientation and gender identity, and acts to create a society that is healthy and respectful of human diversity. For more information, visit www.pflag.org.

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http://dhconcerts.wordpress.com/feed

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Sally, Sally, Sally. You said it’s your right to say anti-gay things. What happened to, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”? March 16, 2008

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Calling People Terrorists March 17, 2008

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Oklahoma Families to Rally at State Capitol and Call for Meeting with Representative Sally Kern * Solidarity Vigil in Tulsa March 18, 2008

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Sally Kern, by your definition, you are not a thinker. March 20, 2008

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Happy 1st Day of Spring 2008 March 20, 2008

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What Sally Has Wrought March 20, 2008

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Chocolate Easter Bunny Chat March 22, 2008

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15,000 Visits March 22, 2008

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“Lean In For A Kiss” by Deborah L. Hord (FREE mp3 - on the eFolkMusic digital sampler) March 24, 2008

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“Socially Acceptable” by Deborah L. Hord March 24, 2008

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Sally Kern and Scott Jones (openly gay pastor) on KFOR TV on Easter Sunday March 25, 2008

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Just Another Silly Joke - Dolly Parton and Queen Elizabeth … March 25, 2008

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Jeremiah Wright - Barack Obama … Anthropologist Critiques Focus on the Family’s Report on Marriage … Labor of Love (TransMan Pregnant) … Leno - “Give Me Your Gayest Look” March 25, 2008

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OkEq eNews: OkEq in the Advocate March 26, 2008

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From the Oklahoman’s For Equality newsletter:

Special Announcements

Tulsa named “Emerging Gay City” in The Advocate!

April’s Advocate spotlights Tulsa as one of five cities with rising LGBT communities in “Where the Gays Are.” The article features OkEq Executive Director Justice Waidner and prominently covers the Equality Center’s services and resources. Download it here.

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New Program: Diversity Youth Leadership Network (DYLN) Spring Summit

Saturday, March 29, 9am-4:30pm, Youth Services of Tulsa, 311 South Madison Ave.

DYLN seeks to empower LGBTQ youth and their allies in Gay-Straight Alliances (GSAs) through leadership development, organizational support and capacity building, and program continuity. This fun and free youth leadership conference kicks off DYLN with youth and adult workshops, a keynote by Oklahoma Representative Al McAffrey, “Be the Change You Want to See”, and music by Logo Network sensation Eric Himan. For more information or to register, visit our website or contact Deputy Director Mana Tahaie.

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Bernard Brandon Scott on “What the Bible Says About Homosexuality”

Wednesday, April 2, 7-9pm, University of Tulsa Lorton Hall room 207

The University of Tulsa’s United Campus Ministry hosts Bernard Brandon Scott, Darbeth Distinguished Professor of New Testament at the Phillips Theological Seminar, for a discussion about Christianity and homosexuality.

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“My Life Under Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”

Thursday, April 3, 7pm, University of Tulsa Lorton Hall room 207

Oklahomans for Equality is extremely proud to host Sgt. Brandy Steward, member of the Oklahoma Army National Guard as she tells the story of serving under the military’s Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy, the only federal law mandating the firing of an individual on the basis of their sexual orientation. Sgt. Stewart is profiled in this week’s Urban Tulsa Weekly and will be featured on KWGS 89.5 FM’s Studio Tulsa next Wednesday at 11:30am and 7:30pm. Don’t miss this moving and important discussion about the face of discrimination in our armed forces.

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Special Thanks to H.O.P.E. Testing

Oklahomans for Equality thanks H.O.P.E. Testing Clinic for hosting their Tenth Anniversary Celebration at the Equality Center. We are proud of our long-standing partnership with H.O.P.E., whose anonymous, rapid HIV test and STD education and outreach provide an incredibly vital service to the Tulsa community.

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Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Heterosexual couples needed for study

A Wayne University research team is conducting a study on relationship satisfaction, spirituality, religion and self-esteem. The team is seeking 180 same- or mixed-sex couples who have been living together for at least six months to take a 25-45 minute, private online survey. Participants will enter a drawing to win an iPod Nano. If you and your partner would like to participate, please email Lisa Dillon with both email address. This study been approved by the University of Detroit, Mercy.

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Rev. Dr. Scott Jones and Rep. Sally Kern Debate on KFOR’s Flashpoint

Reverend Dr. Scott Jones, pastor of Cathedral of Hope Church in Oklahoma City, debated Representative Sally Kern on this Sunday’s Flashpoint political debate program. View the debate online.